Bill Shatner mentions his "hair" in new book Shatner Rules.

It was a moment many of us will never forget. News breaks that Bill Shatner has mentioned the hair in his new book Shatner Rules. For a while at least, collective concerns over global economic woes evaporate.


Just one example: a baseball match in the US, where as the major story makes its way, one person at a time, through the stadium, we witness spontaneous elation and patriotic shouts of "USA!".

What is this really? Sourced here.

Not long ago we conducted a poll asking readers about their honest hopes regarding Bill Shatner's toupological disclosures in Shatner Rules.


52% believed that Bill Shatner might make some coded references, but nothing overt. Is that what we have here? A coded reference, or is it much more? Is it perhaps yet another step in the actor's extraordinary toupological journey from absolute denial to full revelation? As many of you have observed, Bill Shatner seemingly wants to do this on his terms, his way. No pushing, no "gotcha" questions from the "lace-scream media". And what we have in this book continues that trend. And we can only marvel at being privileged to witness the latest chapter in this extraordinary journey.


Page 11 of Shatner Rules features a sub-section entitled "William Shatner's Roast Insults and Rebuttals" referencing the lampooning the actor endured during the 2006 Comedy Central Roast of William Shatner (including the arguably rather bitter-toned toupee-related material coming from George Takei).

(Our deep thanks to reader "Tintorera" for the tip and scans!)

On the following page comes this short Q&A:

Q:What is that on your head?

A: My hair is actually writing its own autobiography, Captain's Locks. I will reveal no spoilers in advance of publication.

A 2010 cover of USA Today - will one day the magnifying glass be moved up to the hair?

The brief exchange is extraordinary for a number of reasons. Firstly, it's important to underscore that this is Bill Shatner's own book - not an interview done in an uncontrolled environment. If this exchange is in it, it's because Bill Shatner wanted it there.

But what process led to its inclusion? Did co-writer Chris Regan ask the question or did Bill Shatner ask that it be asked? How well does Bill Shatner know Regan? Would this former The Daily Show writer really have felt comfortable bringing up a hair question by himself? "Hey, Bill can we do a hair question?" Icy stare.

"But I don't wear a hairpiece..." etc. etc. We doubt it. Bill Shatner had to make Regan know that permission was being granted; that it was OK to go there.


"What is that on your head?" - this is quite probably the first ever time in the history of mankind that Bill Shatner has acknowledged that the question is valid. What is that - as in "that thing" "that artifice" "that unnatural object". He's moved from asking the entirely rhetorical and one-sided "Do I wear a toupee?" to acknowledging that somebody else observing him could conceivably ask such a question; that his hair isn't so utterly convincing that to even ask him if it's a toupee would be "the stupidest question I've ever heard". That is a big step.

"Have I mentioned that I have a new book and CD out?"

"My hair is actually writing its own autobiography, Captain's Locks. I will reveal no spoilers in advance of publication." Bill Shatner then shows that he is continuing to lighten up over the whole baldness issue, having some fun with the fact that his toupees over the years have been so varied and so very fascinating, that an autobiography is entirely in order. If only Captain's Locks really were going to be the actor's next book!!

The end sentence "I will reveal no spoilers in advance of publication" is a brilliantly clever, and ever so slightly passive-aggressive, way of ending this particular conversation. "When it comes to my toupee, I'm in charge," Bill Shatner is saying, "and that's all you're getting (for now?)".

Now, as many of you will know, Bill Shatner has been all over the place lately promoting the aforementioned new book (and upcoming album). Which brings us to another rather amazing moment (thanks to reader "Thomas Jefferson Curly" for the tip!):

This is perhaps the greatest irony of Bill Shatner's toupee-wearing. It's actually gotten to the place where you have to know his hair isn't real in order to understand the rules of the road and avoid creating awkward moments like these. In a recent interview on a New York Fox affiliate, the poor female host apparently had no such idea, hence throwing Bill Shatner an innocent compliment about his "TJ Curly" years "I love you with the dark hair there," she interrupts:

Bill Shatner's reaction is priceless. His expression reveals shock, then a kind of "What is this - some sort of a hit job?" look (Bill Shatner misses seeing the image the woman was referring to) before finally settling into a rather meek "I don't know..."


In the spectator sport version of politics, one of the ultimate screw-ups for any candidate is the so-called "deer in the headlights" look. A politician is supposed to respond authoritatively to a given question or situation and instead they freeze up, revealing fear or uncertainty.


But Bill Shatner pretty much manages to avoid this fate with a skillful comeback worthy of JFK. After a several moments of uncertainty, the male host (perhaps sensing the awkwardness of the moment) interjects with "As you were saying..." but Bill Shatner has by then regained his composure and delivers a zinger: "I don't mind being interrupted by somebody who says you're looking good!" Phew!!


We'll take a closer look at Shatner Rules (including, as some of you have noted, some other more subtle hair references) at some point in the future and thanks, as always, for your tips and comments. For those of you eagerly awaiting our ST:TMP full toupological analysis, we're told it will definitely be published before the end of this month.

Shatner Rules is now on sale.