But is it Jim...?

Back in 1980, music legend Paul McCartney released a song on his McCartney II album called "Coming Up". The video featured the singer dressing up as a variety of characters, one of whom was a kind of "Beatlemania Paul" throwback.

 Paul McCartney in 1980, dressed up as his 1964 Beatles self.

McCartney adopted the suit, mannerisms (lots of laughing and smiling), and also the hairstyle of his younger self, circa 1964.

It's very rare for celebrities of an iconic caliber to do this kind of thing for a variety of reasons - after all, no-one wants to risk cheapening past achievements, or blurring the lines between what was and what is. But there's probably a big difference between the likes of a McCartney or a Shatner going retro (fun), and some washed-up celebrity doing it because they haven't done anything since (a bit sad).

And so when Bill Shatner has donned his Captain Kirk costume a number of times outside of official Trek canon, we would say it too is better categorized as fun, rather than sad.

But unlike McCartney's eerily perfect recreation, something has almost always been amiss with Bill Shatner's retro-Trek moments. A kind of cognitive toupological dissonance stemming from a notable mismatch between the era of the Kirk costume he has worn and the era of the toup.

In February 2013, the actor made an appearance, via video (he was also in the audience), for a comedy sketch at the 85th Academy Awards. Bill Shatner was dressed up as the movie-era Kirk (unmistakably associated with the "TJ Curly" era of toupee), apparently coming from the future to warn host Seth Macfarlane about his "disastrous" upcoming performance.

Given the Oscars folks ultra-protectiveness of their videos, we present only the very briefest of clips:

We may be wrong, but we think this is only the second time Bill Shatner has donned his movie-era Star Trek costume since his final performance as Captain Kirk in the 1994 movie Star Trek: Generations.

The first, in 2006, was a DirecTV commercial that combined new footage with that taken from 1991's Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country. Given that in this case footage from past and present was being blended, an attempt had to be made to "TJ-up" the "Denny Katz" - at least as much as modern technology and the actor himself might permit.

A 2006 commercial for DirecTV.

But in 2013, the toup was not changed at all - it was an unabashed, unadulterated "Denny Katz", causing shock-waves to reverberate throughout the audience - and beyond.

 Stunned - guests left speechless at the 2013 Oscars.

Even "Jimming-up" the toup a little with a slight frontal quiff (or "swoosh") - something the "Denny Katz" could easily accomodate...

(source)

...was rejected. For many Star Trek fans, it appeared to be a devastating act of "tough love" on the part of their idol.

The key question regards this latest "Kirk" appearance is: has the long-absent character successfully been brought to life? Or does the fact that there is a toupological mismatch really thwart viewers' ability to experience a complete immersion in this retro-recreation?

 

Our resident Professor of Shatnero-Folicular Interpretative Sciences explains:

"Star Trek fans have always had an uneasy relationship with the 'Denny Katz' toupee [worn since around 2000]. On the one hand, most of them accept that this is the perhaps final major hair choice that Bill Shatner will make - and that it is is not at all a bad one. But they also have no frame of reference for this toupee as regards to it relating to the world of Star Trek. They almost feel a sense of alienation; that this toup represents the definitive ending of an era, and that so long as Bill Shatner wears it, the original Captain Kirk cannot and will not return. Smaller, more militant factions even blame the toupee for preventing a viable Bill Shatner cameo in the new Trek movies."

Toupological distrust? - Bill Shatner and Star Trek fans.

Is such an assessment fair? Via a very crude "Touposhop", several staff at the William Shatner School of Toupological Studies' "Division of Toupological Approximations" decided to see what would happen if a "TJ Curly" era toup replaced the "Denny Katz" in the 2013 Oscars appearance. Would the real Captain Kirk, absent for twenty years now, suddenly come alive?

 

Surprisingly, we would say that the answer is yes!

He looks a little more squashed (shorter and wider) than since we last saw him properly - but is this not the Captain Kirk we know and love?

In the TV series, Kirk was the "Jim Kirk lace" and vice versa. Eventually, fans reluctantly adjusted to the "TJ Curly" for the James T. Kirk of the movies. But perhaps the professor we quoted above is right: the "Denny Katz" and Captain Kirk are simply of different worlds...

UPDATE: Rather coincidentally, shortly after we published this story, media reports came out regarding Bill Shatner possibly appearing in the next Star Trek movie. So let's talk toup: just to be clear, no-one has contacted us regarding what kind of toupee we think Bill Shatner should wear if he does appear in this movie.

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Finally, a sincere thanks for all your very warm welcome back messages (and tips)! We weren't really going to "waste" a post explaining where the hell we've been. But for those of you who are interested: one of the key staff members at Shatner's Toupee (which serves as the public information service of the "William Shatner School of Toupological Studies") apparently seemed to so enjoy writing our two annual Christmastime stories and much of the other content here at this site, that he decided to disappear and go write a novel.

For some reason that may not be entirely efficient (we are undertaking an internal review), our overwhelming loyalty to this one staff member, publishing his book under the name "Dominik James" (which we suspect is a pseudonym) led to the thousands of other staff at the WSSTS insisting that we would wait till he was done. No pressure, right?

Writing and self-publishing a novel is a bit like taking a wee into a lake. You either need a lot of wee or a very small lake. Not convinced that either of these is the case here, but either way, two years later his debut tome Eryll and the Arbutus is now avaliable a downloadable e-book and is also available as an e-book at outlets such as Amazon and iTunes. We're told it has nothing at all to do with Bill Shatner and toupees, and in fact is a kind of political-psychological allegorical tale set in modern day America (though there is one mention of Star Trek).

We thought we would mention this to our readers here just this once (maybe we'll allow the author a small link at the side column of the site), and then leave it at that. If any of you do take the plunge, do let us know (even if it was not liked), and if any of you reviewers/bloggers out there who are into fiction, politics etc. would like a free copy, just email us...

Our next post will not be entitled: "Where the hell have you been?"