Sunday, June 10, 2012

Poll result and a major new Bill Shatner project...



In our last poll before we took a break, we asked our readers for their thoughts on when other actors and production staff were restricted from easily seeing Bill Shatner toup-less in the makeup rooms of his film and TV show appearances. 4% said that the 24/7 permanence of the "Denny Katz" is what ended such scenarios; 6% said that Bill Shatner has always been happy to be openly bald behind-the-scenes, so long at it isn't a public occasion; 8% said during the 1970s as Bill Shatner struggled with his "Lost Years"; 27% said during the 1980s as Bill Shatner's career was revived and a narrow majority, 52%, said that 1960s Star Trek was the last era of such free access. Thanks for voting!

Our current poll examines this issue:


Considerable buzz recently surrounded Bill Shatner's rather epic guest hosting stint on the British topical satire show Have I Got News for You. The 81-year-old "pensioneer" served as the swing vote between two bald and two non-bald panelists, including regular captains "Paul Morton" and "Ian Hilsop". Must see TV, with Bill Shatner's toup evidently sprayed a little browner than normal for the event - the episode be seen here and here.


And on the subject of Touposhopping, during our break, reader "Touposhopper Wannabe" submitted this Jim-ification of the TJ:


While reader Paul sent us this transition...


...which for some reason reminded us of this:


Come to think of it, there could have been - and still could be - an awesome TV series based on Bill Shatner's toupee. It would have an intro similar to MacGyver...



William Shatner: an ordinary man with an extraordinary toupee that can get him out of many a tight spot.

It can defeat any enemy...


...in any situation



It can be used as a toboggan in the snow...


...or an individual filament of this amazing toup can trip up bad guys...


Is there anything it can't do?


An ordinary man with an extraordinary secret identity! Touperman?


Imagine this nail-biting scene: Our hero jumps off a cliff, apparently with nothing to break his fall. In a dazzling and spectacular moment, the toupee again comes to the rescue turning into a life saving parachute!



Any other film or TV references that might help further illustrate this potential series, please let us know!

One of the greatest stunts involving a toupee ever performed in The Toup Who Loved Me (1977).

UPDATE:


Hanging by toupee filaments?

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Toupergate and the missing thirty minutes.



We've often compared the study of Bill Shatner's toupee-wearing to the 1970s Watergate scandal. Both involve the seeking out of intriguing and seemingly endless threads of information, which ultimately coalesce around a single unmistakable premise. In this post, we'll stretch that analogy a little further. One aspect of the whole Watergate affair was a notorious 18 1/2 minute gap in the Nixon White House tapes. What was on them? Why did Nixon risk his presidency by possibly wiping incriminating evidence, which was being subpoenaed in a criminal investigation? Does not the gap itself add to the picture of intrigue and even guilt?


In the ongoing investigations into Bill Shatner's toupee-wearing, we find something akin to that missing 18 1/2 minutes. But in this case, the gap is even longer - a full thirty minutes of what we believe to be toupologically crucial time for which Bill Shatner has not, and, dare we say, cannot account without conceding the full truth about his toupee usage! We present the case:


On page 102 of the 1993 behind-the-scenes book Star Trek Memories, author Bill Shatner described the makeup process, which fellow actor Leonard Nimoy had to endure in the 1960s Star Trek TV series in order to transform himself into the Vulcan Mr. Spock:

By about six A.M., Leonard had already reported for work and could generally be found relaxing in Freddie's [Fred Phillips was the series' makeup artist] barber chair, stinking up the makeup room with his fried-egg sandwiches while Phillips proceeded to turn him into a Vulcan. First Freddie would shave off the tips of Leonard's eyebrows, leaving just the inner third on each side. Then he would whip out his trusty spool of yak hair (yes, I did indeed say "yak hair") and glue the upswept edges of Spock's brows into place. The ears would go on next, followed by a quick dusting of pancake and a final once-over in the mirror. When the look had met with Leonard's approval, Freddie would move on to the rest of us.

Star Trek's makeup artist Fred Phillips with Leonard Nimoy.

Though it generally took about an hour to do Leonard's makeup, the rest of us actors could each be in and out of the chair in about ten minutes. This was of course due to the much more elaborate cosmetological process behind creating Spock...

Setting aside the implications of Bill Shatner talking about glue and yak hair, let's instead focus on several key points relayed above - Nimoy: one hour; the rest of the cast: in, out, straight to the set...

But something here doesn't quite seem right.

Charlie Washburn, who sadly passed away this April, served as assistant director on Star Trek. And, as noted by Memory Alpha, "Washburn [was] the first African-American who applied, and then graduated from the Director [sic] Guild of America." Back in 1986, Washburn penned a (very interesting) article for the sci-fi magazine Starlog proudly and nostalgically reflecting on his work in the legendary series - this article was recently posted by the blog My Star Trek Scrapbook to mark Washburn's passing.

Charles Washburn with Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner.

In one section of the article, Washburn manages to walk a very clever, and dare we say classy, tightrope by revealing a crucial nugget of toupological information without actually overtly doing so or dwelling on or expanding upon the inference. As with the segment from Star Trek Memories, this part also recalls the makeup process involving the cast and Fred Phillips:

The reporting times for our main cast almost never changed. Nichelle Nichols' and Leonard Nimoy's reporting time was 6:30 a.m. to be ready for an 8:00 shoot. Bill Shatner's was 7:00. And DeForest Kelley, George Takei, Jimmy Doohan and Walter Koenig were all expected at 7:30 since their makeup requirements were minimal.


Let's go over and try to expand upon what Washburn is saying here:

-Leonard Nimoy as the pointed-eared Spock: considerable makeup requirements, reports at 6:30 a.m.

-Nichelle Nichols as Uhura: heavy female makeup and also wig application, reports at 6:30 a.m.

-Kelley, Takei, Doohan and Koenig: minimal makeup requirements, report at 7:30.

But Bill Shatner reports at 7:00, a full thirty minutes before those with "minimal" makeup requirements were needed in the makeup room. This begs a very simple question:



Basic math can help us deduce the most obvious possible answer. If prosthetics (1 hour, Nimoy) or heavy makeup (1/2 hour) and a wig (another 1/2 hour, Nichols) require a full hour more than "minimal", and if we know that Bill Shatner wore no prosthetics (1 hour) or heavy makeup (1/2 hour), then there is only one logical conclusion - the extra half hour was required for Bill Shatner's toupee to be applied.

Thus, the actor did not simply rush in and out of the makeup room, but rather was there for a full thirty minutes each day having his toupee applied (including gluing the lace line at the top of the forehead and then covering it with pancake makeup). Only then would he, along with Kelley, Doohan, Takei and Koenig undergo the relatively quick process of applying makeup to the rest of his face (this is done to prevent harsh lighting from "bleaching" the skin and also to absorb potentially reflective sweat).

In his clever use of language (evidently balancing loyalty to those actors he worked with against the importance of the toupological historical record), Washburn essentially suggests the above conclusion without directly saying it. It's circumstantial, but what other possible logical conclusion is there? Bill Shatner might have wanted to arrive on the lot early for a number of reasons, but a makeup call is for one reason only - to apply makeup. Thus, once we have eliminated the impossible...

Deductive reasoning used in the Star Trek episode "Court Martial".

As many of the behind-the-scenes folks from the original Star Trek gradually leave us, we can't help but be eternally grateful for any nugget of shared toupological knowledge regarding their historic and historically significant contributions to a television series in which Bill Shatner's toupee-wearing was and continues to be a central, if not the central, component. There's still so much of their work to be done in the galaxy...

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Poll result and toupee art.



In our most recent poll, we asked readers how years of toupee-wearing have affected Bill Shatner's personality. 9% said that it hasn't had any notable effect; 13% said that the effect was more chemical (toupee glue) than anything else; 33% said that it has made him more confident and vigorous; the greatest number, 43%, said that it's made Bill Shatner more guarded and defensive.


Thanks for voting!

Recently, a member of our relatively small (only a few thousand permanent staff) Department of Toupological Artistry and Abstract Expressionism approached us with a composite image they had created. Our response was one of unanimous excitement (coupled with: "can we get that on a T-shirt?!?!"). Here is what this staff member showed us:


Is this a lost fifth version of Munch's "The Scream"? It perhaps so perfectly captures the ultimate Bill Shatner nightmare scenario - public touplessness! Was Bill Shatner the anonymous $120 million bidder at the recent Sotheby's auction?

The duality of the man-toupee that is Bill Shatner has inspired some rather interesting real artworks. One piece we came across (sourced here) was by artist Andrea Lam:


We don't know the story behind this image, but the younger visage on top of the older head, carefully controlled by Bill Shatner - if this isn't toupological symbolism, then what is?

Perhaps it was partially based on this image of another person wearing Bill Shatner's toupee!


We'll have more on Halloween in the future - speaking of which, Shatner's Toupee is undertaking its annual spring cleaning so we're taking a three week break! Thanks, as always to our devoted readers for your continued interest, insights and information...

Oh, and if anyone really wants to make a T-shirt or print out a Shatner-Munch poster, then click to here to download this high resolution image:

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Showtime - a toupological analysis.



Showtime is a 2002 "black-white buddy cop" movie starring Robert De Niro and Eddie Murphy. William Shatner makes a notable cameo essentially as himself (he plays an actor who once payed T.J. Hooker).

The wafer-thin plot involves two very different LAPD officers - the exhibitionist Murphy and the brooding De Niro - who are both forced to partake in a "new" kind of police reality show after a drugs raid goes wrong and becomes a PR disaster.


Everything they do is being filmed. Murphy's character is delighted.


De Niro's character isn't.


The ambitious producer believes in the project.


In an effort to improve their performing abilities, they meet with an actor who once played T.J. Hooker on TV. He gives the men some tips.


There's also a bad guy who has a special kind of gun and the cops need to catch him.


Things take a turn for the worse when he takes their producer hostage. What will happen next?


If the above summary sounds like it was written by an eight-year-old, then we ask for forgiveness, but we didn't want to exceed the quality of the on-screen material our staff had to endure.

Put bluntly, Showtime is an unmitigated catastrophe of a movie on just about every level. There's almost no plot to speak of. Really. Countless minutes go by with the movie doing nothing but playing off the one single premise of cops acting silly in front of the cameras. The line soon blurs between the on-screen fakery and the real movie we're all all watching as actors De Niro and Murphy desperately try to conjure up some enthusiasm in front of the cameras for this misjudged monstrosity.


The entire supporting cast have zero screen presence, with Renne Russo as the producer coming off as particularly annoying.


The dialogue feels like it was improvised; the direction is beyond flat, lacking nuance, subtlety or any comic timing whatsoever. Is this being played as real or as a joke, winking to the audience? This is a movie that affords the concept of verisimilitude about as much respect as a dog affords a lamppost. Our staff even struggled to find convincing-looking stills from Showtime for this review in which the actors didn't look bored or confused.


Showtime is essentially an attempt at an "80s comedy" (an era that started in the late 1970s with movies like Foul Play and continued right up to the 1990s with movies like Quick Change and even - perhaps the very last of its kind - 1999s Bowfinger). Both lead actors in Showtime are no strangers to this genre, but perhaps the very time in which this movie was made - 2002 - in itself dashed all hopes that this would be a new Midnight Run or Trading Places (or more of an 80s-style action-comedy like Lethal Weapon). One suspects that a Showtime (1983) or a Showtime (1994) might have been classics. But something changed about American movies in the new millennium. And that change just wasn't beneficial for so many things that had been good in previous decades. But that's a whole other story...

1988's Midnight Run is everything Showtime isn't.

Finally, and we're not just saying this because of the person upon whom our work is focused, but Bill Shatner's cameo in Showtime (there's another, albeit completely pointless cameo in the movie, by O.J. Simpson lawyer Johnnie Cochran) is most definitely the best thing about the film.


Yes, William Shatner manages to upstage both Travis Bickle and Axel Foley! A lot of reviewers at the time made that point a little snarkily: "When the presence of William Shatner is the best thing about a movie, you know the production is in trouble." (source) - but the real point is how much of classic comedy this movie might have been with all three of these actors - and wasn't.



Perhaps the one good thing to come out of this movie was that it began to wipe away Bill Shatner's post Star Trek:Generations lull and re-establish the actor as a hip and happening cult figure. So at least there's that!

Let's move swiftly to the hair...


The actor is wearing an early but entirely quintessential "Denny Katz". It's a little thick-looking, suggesting that the base toupee was bulked up a little via some sort of thickener in order to prevent even the slightest bit of scalp showing up on the big screen.

Several reverse shots of Bill Shatner enable us to study the well-cropped area of his real hair at the back of his head. Being real, very human flaws and imperfections become visible in a way that would be heretical only a few centimeters higher in the toupological region.


And staying with reverses, we also get a shot of Bill Shatner in the mirror, which somehow tends to make the toupee seem more like a toupee:


Also, did Bill Shatner convince Murphy and De Niro to include a subtle piece of "toupee code" in Showtime? In one scene, Murphy tells Shatner "Show me the thing you do with your eyebrow again." (Bill Shatner's eyebrows are one of the few areas of real hair on his head). A couple of lines later, De Niro says "I've got to wash this shit out of my hair..." gesturing at his hair with Bill Shatner standing knowingly behind him. It's unquestionably a moment that historians have yet to fully appreciate and study.


What's really incredible is how Bill Shatner's toupee appears to once again cast a subtle critique on the movie in which it is partaking. The toup is a little too constructed, a little too unsubtle in order to come across as real - much like Showtime. Movie directors beware: study the toupee!


Showtime is available on DVD. Watch and weep....

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

A toupological dossier...



We're in the midst of preparing a new full toupological analysis, but there was something rather immediate we wanted to bring to our readers' attention in the meantime. Esquire magazine has published an article called "William Shatner: The Dossier" (alongside an interview with the actor). It contains the following chart:


The toupological nomenclature is different from ours. Instead of "Jim Kirk lace" we have "early" and instead of "TJ Curly" (Phase I and Phase II) we have "T.J. Hooker" and "Movie Kirk". But the evolution is pretty much all there and we certainly applaud any effort to help disseminate information on the crucially important subject of William Shatner's toupee!