Poll result and a special session of the WSSTS General Assembly.

Our most recent poll sought to gauge our readers' views on whether Bill Shatner's toupee-wearing was primarily for the actor's own self-image or for the image he wishes to convey to us, the general public (of someone who has hair).

44% said that the key thing was for Bill Shatner to see hair on his own head when he looks in the mirror (to feel young and vital). 55% said that the most important thing for Bill Shatner was for the public to see hair on his head (to see an actor with a full head of hair). A question arises: If there were no public - for example, if the actor was stuck on a desert island with a box of toupees - would Bill Shatner still bother?

Thanks for voting!

The WSSTS General Assembly building. Notice the "bald dome" ceiling design; though not visible in this image, the dome is covered from above by a giant replica toupee.

Now, during this week, the various department heads and key specialists at the William Shatner School of Toupological Studies went into an extraordinary session in the WSSTS General Assembly building (pictured above). Several days of fierce debate followed and yielded some fascinating observations. Why?

One of our toupologists flagged a clip of Bill Shatner's 1994 guest appearance in the short-lived sci-fi series seaQuest DSV. The episode in question is called "Hide and Seek" and a clip was recently uploaded to YouTube by user and devoted Bill Shatner clip collector "Zainin6662".

Let's first take a break with this brief and amusing snippet from the episode:

"Hello..."

According to Wikipedia's summary, in "Hide and Seek" Bill Shatner plays "...ousted dictator and escaped UEO prisoner Milos Tezlov, who wants ... dolphins to train for militaristic purposes. However, when [Stephanie Beacham's character] notices Tezlov's autistic son Caesar taking an extreme liking to dolphins, she forges a deal for her release, granting Tezlov passage aboard the seaQuest."

Not really worth dwelling too much on a plot in which an ousted dictator goes by the name of Milos Tezlov!

seaQuest DSV was one of a spate of mid-90s sci-fi shows that came in the wake of the popularity of Star Trek: The Next Generation. Most suffered from terminal blandness, endless meddling by network and studio "suits" and were largely forgotten soon after they were cancelled. Some, like Sliders, lasted five seasons; others, like the insufferably awful seaQuest, three...

But let's turn to the clip that caused such excitement at the WSSTS:

Bill Shatner has three daughters (Leslie, Lisabeth and Melanie) by his first wife Gloria. And although they were all born bald...


...because they were female, they all soon grew thick and resplendent heads of hair. Thus, the actor never had to face the potential pain of seeing his baldness gene affecting a male heir.


But in this episode of seaQuest, Bill Shatner evidently managed to move past the risible dialogue and (perhaps in an effort to save the episode) channel some profound personal emotions related to the above.

"My son," says the actor sounding like Marlon Brando's Jor-El. "What if?" Bill Shatner appears to be thinking, pouring himself into this otherwise flat character. "What if I had a son?" Let's examine the first part of the on-screen moment again and then look at the rest in slow-motion:

"My son. My heir. My heir and my curse," the character says. But the first "heir" sounds more like "hair". "My son. My hair," Bill Shatner appears to reflect wistfully. The meaning is clear. There is both a blessing and a curse here. The latter is the baldness gene; will his son suffer as he did? The character slowly sighs, the pain welling up inside his soul into a powerful on-screen crescendo that reflects both despair but also hope. "My curse..." Bill Shatner will bequeath his son not only the curse of baldness, but also the potential power of the toupee. It's a complex and potentially volatile mix.

"You will carry me inside you, all the days of your life. You will make my strength your own, and see my life through your eyes, as your life will be seen through mine. The son becomes the father, and the father the son."

As Bill Shatner delivers these incredibly emotional, personal and heartfelt words, his hand moves gently to his fictional son's hair (brown and curly, much like the actor's own hair would have been at that age).


He strokes it lovingly, but then pulls at it. Perhaps to see if it is still strong. Or are there already terrifying signs that it is growing weak and thin? Or perhaps it is also a moment of jealousy. "Dammit, I wish I still had this! Does it come off? Can I have it?" The sheer volume of subtext that can be inferred here is truly overwhelming.


What emerges is one of the most complex, multi-layered and profoundly moving performances ever committed to the screen in the history of both cinema and television. Bill Shatner managed to mine aspects of himself, delving deep into the darker parts of his psyche to create an electric moment of television that may well be studied for decades, if not centuries. It's a shame that Bill Shatner himself speaks not of the toupee, for his thoughts on how he, as an actor, prepared himself for this gruelingly personal scene would be as priceless as hearing from Shakespeare how he wrote Hamlet. But that is not to be...

And that is why the WSSTS convened a Special Session. There was so much to discuss about this moment and so many at the School who felt that it so perfectly encapsulated the essence of what makes toupology such a stimulating and rewarding field of study! And we didn't even get to the mustache!