Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Amazing lace.

So an eager young toupologist working at the WSSTS' "Department of Toupological Approximology" calls us up and says he has an interesting image for us to see - it's gonna be worth it, he adds, excitedly. "What is it?" we ask. "It's an image of Bill Shatner today but what he would look like in a 'Jim Kirk Lace'." What else could we say but: "Send it over."

Truth is though, we didn't expect much. Bill Shatner today with a "Jim Kirk Lace"? Let's be honest, it's just gonna look silly. Might be good for a laugh, we thought in all honesty, but little more. I mean, come on!......But boy were we wrong!

Click on above image for full size.

We take a look at the image and are instantly rendered speechless...shocked...stunned! The guy actually looks friggin awesome!

"It's him! It's Kirk!" shouts one of our female members of staff, barely able to contain herself. Cooler heads eventually prevail and our toupologists finally begin to calmly and methodically assess the true import of this extraordinary image. One of our top toupular psychologists later puts it thus:

"Because Bill Shatner changed toupee styles so significantly at key points in his life and career, it partially disrupted, at least sub-consciously, the cognitive semiotics of our centers of recognition in the brain. Of course we always knew it was really Bill Shatner, but the shift in toupee styles made what would be an automatic association have to become a slightly willful one. This was particularly true for many people when they were reintroduced to Bill Shatner after some years in Star Trek: The Motion Picture in 1979."

Bill Shatner replaced by a different Bill Shatner?

The psychologist continued:

"The composite image represents a far more natural thread to a well-known mental association we have of the actor from the original Star Trek series that bypasses the jarring re-recognition needed to overcome toupee styles like the 'TJ Curly'. In a sense, looking at this image is like looking at an older version of the actor who played Kirk for the first time. That can't help but create a powerful reaction for those who have positive associations to that show and the Kirk character. Thus, 'It's him! It's Kirk!' really is an entirely natural reaction."

More on this image here.

Asides from the above psychological analysis, we actually have to add that we think the lace genuinely looks good on present-day Shats. It elongates his head a little, which counters the slight "pumpkin head" effect of his increasing years and actually seems more realistic (in a weird way) than the current "Denny Crane" look.

So, and we never thought we'd say this until we saw this image: Bill Shatner has our full blessing to return to the lace at any time should he so choose!

Agree? Disagree with our psychobabble? We're eager to read your thoughts!

On an unrelated note, a Facebook user seems to have mistakenly put our website down as his personal contact info - it's not us (we're on Lacebook)! -ST


  1. Of all of the time I have wasted on this blog this truly is a something that will go down in the annals of toupology as exceptional. The Kirk lace, a style 40 years old looks as fresh and current as the day it was first glued on. Not only that it takes 15 to 20 years off of Shat. He looks fantastic. Shat Toup you have outdone yourself or should I say your staff of thousands has. This image somehow needs to get to Shat himself I don't know how you can but it must.

  2. impressive...most impressive. you could imagine that being a photo turning up of a 'where are they now' if star trek had died with TOS and shatner had faded into obscurity.

    it makes one wonder why Shats gave up wearing the JK lace in the first place. a) it had EVERYONE fooled into thinking it was real hair (unlike the TJ Curly) so much so that a great many people (who hadnt been keeping track of his Lost Years output) thought he had somehow lost his hair inbetween TOS and TMP and resorted to wearing the thick dark Burt Reynolds style wig.

    b) as the article states it just screams 'CAPTAIN KIRK' or 'STAR TREK' unlike the TJ Curly which screams 'ADMIRAL KIRK' or 'TJ HOOKER' (maybe thats one of the reasons why Shats went with it? to differentiate the characters to create a 'new' Kirk for the big screen?)

    c) it just suits him more - his face type.

    if Shatner does appear in the Star Trek sequel in 2012 maybe he will return to wearing the JTK lace as a homage to TOS? (after all the new series of films are a reboot of TOS as opposed to the original cast movies)...obviously not 'THE' JK lace but in the same style - nothing curly/wavy...

    perhaps this site should do a similar photo manip of the 1960s shatner with the TJ Curly just to see how odd that would be....

  3. Yeah, it looks good on surface, but the pic is obviously retouched. The plugs are more suited to a aging, elderly Bill Shatner. My two cents.

  4. Amazing lace indeed! I wonder what a composite image of Chris Pine with the Jim Kirk Lace would look like. Should Toup' go with the role?

  5. Yeah, nice but fake. Back to the plugs

  6. If you changed the color to match his current look, I think it'd still look awesome.

    I'd have him lose the sideburns though.

    One of the things we tend to forget is that Shatner is close to 80 now. Frankly if I could look half as good at that age, I'd be happy.

  7. I think it looks pretty good, but it does make him look like an aging country music star. Maybe it's the sideburns? There is a definite Porter Wagoner vibe going on with it.

  8. @Stacia -- haha you are totally right! I was wondering why he looked familiar in a strange way with the lace (but not familiar as Shat)! There is a definite country western thing going on.

  9. It was orginally a 1960's photograph. Though in my mind, the pose and the face for some reason makes me think of Perry Como!

  10. Shat Toup- Can you tell us the time period for the face with the Jim Kirk lace? He does look younger. I'm going to guess early 2000's here. Also the second pic with the red collar- I'm assuming that's another photo shop and a well done one. I got excited thinking that was another rare undocumented piece

  11. yep the Fred Phillips lace was the best...shocking image

  12. @Most Jerk, we'll get the info on the bottom source picture used for the composite. The top (piece) is from a quite well known 60s publicity still from Trek.

    As for the red collar pic - you can stay excited, as that's not been altered at all by us! -ST

  13. What happens on Kirk's scalp should stay on Kirk's scalp.

  14. Shatner's amazing regardless of what he's got on his head. As someone just said, he's nearly 80 years old - I take my hat (or some form of head-covering) off to him, I truly do. Aside from the fact that Jim Kirk is etched on my psyche forever as the archetypal male, his bizarre renditions of Rocket Man, Mr Tambourine Man (that screechy bit at the end!) just leave me speechless - as does the devil may care boldness of the TJ curly - I love him! I see on twitter that he's following the philosophy of Immanuel Kant today. What would we do without him?

  15. Toup Sleuth Since 1984August 14, 2010 at 1:20 AM

    Interesting that a couple of people thought this composite had a Country singer vibe to it. I was thinking it had a Vegas vibe... the sort of "fake, but what if it's not?" look.

    A fascinating composite indeed, and proof of how good the JK lace really was. I, too, was someone who, for many years, thought TOS was evidence of only a receding hairline that sometime in the early 70s became a "problem" to be "solved" by a toupee.

  16. Porter Wagoner?
    Bill Anderson

  17. Look ma, an old Captain Kirk!

  18. About as ridiculous as the TJ Hooker hair from the 1980's.

  19. So if this was a toupee to begin with, then why in the holy hell did he switch to the jewfro (or the TJ Hooker hair) for Star Trek??? That's why I always had a hard time buying the toupee thing. I can't believe I'm typing this... still blows my mind that we all even care.

  20. It's a real shame they couldn't put the Jim Kirk lace on him during the films - to see him step out of the shuttle craft with that bird's nest on his head in TMP was a real let-down. I bet he would have looked awesome in all movies with the lace!

  21. Would have loved to see this in the movies. The TJ Curly always throws me off. Never been able to fully appreciate them because of it.