Monday, August 9, 2010

A global "Code 145T"!

At 0614 CET on 6th August 2010, the following message was sent out by the William Shatner School of Toupological Studies to all staff across the globe:

WSSTS--0614CET-08/06/2010--VER:453FKBCC001--IMMEDIATE ATT:---P1---ALL STAFF-CODE 145T/RHR-//AYS-829-FIND--SS!

Now, we're not allowed to reveal all of the details of the above message, but "CODE145T/RHR" basically means that a significant "Real Hair Reflex" has been found. "AYS-829-FIND--SS" is an instruction to all of our toupologists that an urgent analysis is required and they should report to a toupological sub-station as soon as possible.

One of hundreds of WSSTS sub-stations located around the globe.

Asides from the main WSSTS facility, the institute also has established these so-called "sub-stations" at numerous locations across the globe. This enables our toupologists to have access to an array of basic toupological equipment at all times. For example, should a toupologist be on vacation and have a sudden new theory about William Shatner's toupee or should a toupologist be delivering a lecture on the other side of the globe and need access to a touposcope, then these sub-stations are designed to provide just that.

A remote toupological sub-station in Hatutu.

Which brings us back to the "Code 145T". Regardless of the time of year, a team of analysts at the WSSTS is constantly combing through (pardon the pun) a mountain of raw touptelligence. This can consist of reports, readers' tips (we're always thankful), anything really. These reports are then triaged according to a 1-5 scale of priority (the "P" code above); 5 represents a low level of urgency, while 1 denotes the highest level: all available toupologists are to report immediately to a toupological sub-station to analyze an urgent find.

In this case, the urgent find in question is a 1999 interview with Bill Shatner on The Daily Show (recently reported here) about the upcoming re-release on DVD of the cult Esperanto film Incubus.

During the interview, Bill Shatner engages is a rather long "Real Hair Reflex" - which we broadly define as "real hair or toupee interaction, which subconsciously or inadvertently reveals Bill Shatner's toupee wearing". Watch the full incident (at around 1m 30s) in the interview below:

The full 8,426 page preliminary report into this incident is now available to read at the usual location... (note: please don't all click to the report at once, as this may cause the ever busy WSSTS servers to overload)

But to summarize this particular moment from 1999, Bill Shatner, very much off guard, appears to start playing with his real hair at the back of his head, running his fingers through and tugging at it for a good while. And during this, he is careful to leave the toupee undisturbed. Interestingly, the incident occurs when correspondent Mo Rocca mentions the character of T.J. Hooker - a sub-conscious association to his own "TJ Curly"?

1999 represented the year when we all bid a teary farewell to the "TJ Curly". However, it appears that rather than a sudden jolt from the "TJ" to the "Denny" Bill Shatner orchestrated a subtle transition from one toupee style to the next - notice how the hair is straighter, grayer and shorter already, but still essentially a "TJ". Very crafty...


  1. Yeah, it was a moment of transition for Bill's "hair"

  2. Priceless! The real reflex happens right after they showed a pic of TJ Hooker in all of his curly glory!

  3. You know as a straight man (not that there's anything wrong with that) I have never had the desire to run my hands through another man's hair. Shat's the one exception. Oh to tug gently at that toupee! To casually glace at that hairline! To search for that elusive line where toup meets real hair!