Thursday, March 11, 2010

Hair pre-production...

Following on from our previous post, and inspired by some of your comments, we thought we'd examine Bill Shatner's hair choices for the upcoming sitcom based on the "Sh*t My Dad Says" Twitter page in which the actor is set to star .

At some point soon, Bill Shatner will take part in costume, makeup and hair tests for the CBS project. Perhaps the producers won't feel the need (or will be too uncomfortable) to mention that the real-life dad from "Sh*t My Dad Says" is bald - and that will be the end of it. In that case, Bill Shatner will appear with his suspiciously young-looking current "Denny Crane" style.

But there is also a possibility that a level of trust will develop between Bill Shatner and the producers and a climate of experimentation will ensue, one that extends to toupular issues. Who knows, maybe Bill Shatner, eager for something new, will actually be the one to bring it up...

Or, with some awkwardness, Bill Shatner may be asked for his thoughts about, you know, how he feels he should look. Nervous pause...producers' hearing their own hearts beating... "What HAVE we said?!!" If the producers are lucky, Bill Shatner may agree that he should indeed go bald in this production - (throughout his entire career, Bill Shatner has never done this, not even, we believe, with a "shaven head" or an obvious bald cap).

Doctored image - sourced here.

So what then? Crucially, Bill Shatner could actually go bald while still preserving the illusion that his hair is real. This avenue may be a viable compromise. Here are the options:

1.) Bill Shatner goes toup-less but a story is leaked to the media that the actor is shaving his head for this role. It's a lie, but at least a revolutionary revelation is avoided. The upside is that we finally get to see Bill Shatner without his toupee.

2.) Bill Shatner wears an obvious bald-cap, and perhaps a "balding old man" wig on top of his toupee and/or plugs. This would be somewhat ridiculous, but it is a viable option that again avoids revolutionary revelations. The downside is that we don't really get to see Bill Shatner without his toupee and the whole thing will probably cause all sorts unwelcome attention.

3.) Bill Shatner goes toup-less but has a small line of latex applied to the front of his forehead that makes it look like he is wearing a bald cap. Again, a ridiculous choice but the upside is that Bill Shatner does indeed appear toup-less.

So those are the bald options. On the other hand, Bill Shatner could also go in the opposite direction and do what he did in the the Star Trek episode "The Deadly Years" (the one where some of the crew grow old) - tossing aside any attempts at believability and making his "old man hair" even thicker than usual:

Or perhaps Bill Shatner and his various toupular machinations are contractually viewed as one and the same - audiences don't just switch on for Bill Shatner, but also his toupees - in that case, seeing the actor bald could be viewed by as a risky step too far. We should also add that Bill Shatner is actually four years older than the elderly dad he is set to play.

What will Bill Shatner ultimately decide? It's a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma covered by a toupee!


  1. Maybe he'll just wear a hat the whole time.

  2. There will be hair. Oh yes. There will be hair.

  3. Bill Shatner is bigger than life. And bigger than the roles that he plays. There shall be hair!!

  4. Toupee or not toupee...still the question!

  5. I'm liking the nose extension in the thick hair photo. Personally I'd go for option one. I never want to see Bill's real scalp. Ever.

  6. Sorry - I meant option two - yikes!!

  7. If they could get Sam Halpern to play Capt. Kirk wearing one of Shat's famous toupees in the next Star Trek movie it might be the best thing to happen to star Trek since Shatner was first cast in 1965.

  8. Shat has a lot of balls, but does he have what it takes to appear bald after an entire career lived through toupees? I don't know. I just don't know.

    If he did, the world would weep. I mean, over 50 years and nothing has been admitted. The release of toupological tension would be too much to bear. You know what happens when you divide by zero? That's exactly what happens the moment Bill Shatner waltzes out into the world sans toupee.

  9. In the doctored photo, he looks like he would make a good Lex Luthor. If Shats ever did take on the role of Lex, that would be a good excuse to go hairless.

    His current hair looks like transplants, probably from his real hair. If you shave transplants, they should grow back, just like the real hair they came from, right?