Thursday, April 28, 2011

Hey, presto(up)!

Things that go bump in the night...

Bill Shatner suspects that his new neighbor wears a toupee. He becomes obsessed; dreams of trying on this mysterious piece overwhelm the actor.

In the middle of the night, he breaks into his neighbor's house and makes his way to the safe.

There, he finds a suitcase.

Inside is paradise: a wealth of irresistible artificial hair.

First, the actor puts on a mustache he finds. The feel of the fake hair against his skin adding to the thrill of the moment.

But there's more...

A toupee! --- But wait!

Who is that?

The neighbor appears, awoken by the commotion.

Bill Shatner has been discovered.

There's only one thing left to do.

He reaches for his weapon...


Okay, this is really a scene from a 1971 episode of the short-lived series Cade's County called "The Armageddon Contract".

Watch the full clip below:

Note an extraordinary piece of magic therein: as Bill Shatner places the wig on his head, we cut away just in time. In the next shot, he is wearing the new piece. As absurd as it seems, we suspect that this cut cleverly enabled Bill Shatner to take off his own toup and place the other piece on his now bald head, preventing a potentially universe-shattering toup-on-toup scenario.

The "application" shot is never actually seen.

The director yells "Cut!", a quick toupular exchange takes place and filming can continue. Hey, presto(up)!

Next time you hear something go bump in the night - don't worry, it might just be Bill Shatner rummaging around your house, looking for toupees!

On another note, some great news: Impulse director William Grefe has confirmed (earlier reports) that a new DVD will indeed be released of the movie. It is "in the works" he exclusively told Shatner's Toupee. Impulse is a movie so awesome that we have committed to a brand new full toupological analysis upon the DVD's release.


  1. another great piece of work! I absolutely agree, that he took, his toup off, 2 put the other one on, if they did not cut away, at that very important moment, we would have witnessed, a head as bald as patrick steward. And can someone, please tell me why bill, would always wear much thicker toups, then the " jim kirk lace" after star trek. If he like everyone to continue in the con, he should have keeped on wearing it.

  2. The Shat is allowed to steal my wigs anytime, I would be honoured.

  3. Ratty Lost Years PieceApril 29, 2011 at 2:29 AM

    The Shat looks an awful lot like '70's-era Burt Reynolds in this scene. At the time, Burt was considered quite the sex symbol. Maybe this is Shatner's way of calling out Burt's own toupee wearing, vis a vis some televised toupee trash talk.

    It's as if the Shat says, "I can be every bit as hirsute as Burt Reynolds. I just need his hair...which is right here, in my briefcase. Hey! it must be a toup, because you don't put real hair in a briefcase."
    We then see this other man, in some pimpy '70's pajamas - kind of looks like Burt, too. Then the Shat pulls a gun and shoots him.

    The entire scene appears to be an open taunt to Reynolds, or perhaps a tongue-in-cheek jibe, a la the Eagles reference in Steely Dan's "Everything You Did."
    -Put on the toupee; the neighbors are listening [watching?].

  4. Back in seventies, Bill really did some strange things to pay his (ops) bills

  5. Another bit of fakery: The suppressor (silencer) on the revolver wouldn't work. The loud bang happens in the chamber, not coming down the barrel, as would be the case in, say, a 9 mm pistol. Movies assume people don't know this, and they think a silenced revolver looks cool. Also, a suppressor doesn't make a gun go "click" or "thwup"--the bang is muffled but still very audible, unless you are using subsonic ammo.

  6. Ratty Lost Years PieceMay 2, 2011 at 8:37 PM

    Could he have held the toupee over the barrel to more effectively silence the gun?

  7. Hey Ratty Lost Years Toupee, which Steely Dan album does 'Everthing You Did' come off of? I have all of them. But it's been years since I've listened to them. If you believe it provides better analysis, I'll check it out.

  8. Ratty Lost Years PieceMay 5, 2011 at 5:56 PM


    It's on "The Royal Scam." The Dan is touring this summer, too. Check dates on