The Devil's Rain - a toupological analysis.

The Devil's Rain is a 1975 horror movie starring Ernest Borgnine, Tom Skerritt and William Shatner and was apparently made to cash in on the success of 1973's The Exorcist. Here's a trailer:

The plot is pretty indecipherable. To quote this review:

"The story is all about the Preston family and their age long problems with Jonathon Corbis...and his merry band of soulless miscreants. Jonathon was killed hundreds of years before for his wicked ways, but he came back to life cuz' he's just that damn evil! Plus he wants his book. Apparently he captured the souls of his eyeless crew by having them sign a book. And them dang ol' Preston's done stole his book! "Where's my cake, Bedelia?" So John wants his book and Mark Preston (William Shatner)...wants his kidnapped Mom back."

Ernest Borgnine as the Satanic priest Jonathon Corbis.

Confused? It really doesn't matter - the plot isn't important (Wikipedia has more). The movie, in fine clichéd form, starts on a dark and stormy night. Bill Shatner's character, Preston, watches his father inexplicably melt (there's lot's of melting in this film).


He decides to investigate and finds some Satanist church in the middle of a ghost town.


The Satanists go after Shatner.


His mother having already been zombified.


Bill Shatner is caught and eventually zombified too.


But not before he is tortured.


At this point, the script tries to do what 1960's Psycho did - getting rid of the lead character early on in the movie; in this case that means essentially ditching Bill Shatner. But that trick arguably worked in Psycho, because the audience was left alone with the person (Norman Bates) who had killed the leading lady (Marion Crane, played by Janet Leigh). Here, the contrivance of shifting the focus to two new characters just feels very jarring. Bill Shatner is largely absent from The Devil's Rain from this point onwards....


...except for some flashback to the 17th century where he wears a strange wig. In the flashbacks, he portrays another member of the Preston family - for generations they have kept Corbis' evil book hidden. Corbis, you'll remember, needs this book in order to fully give his followers' souls to the devil.


Shatner's character is then burned at the stake.


Still confused? Let's quote this review:

"All right, yes, it's never entirely clear why Corbis just can't take the book from its not-terribly-clever hiding place; and yes again, it's never made entirely clear why the Prestons insist on doing stupidly heroic solo missions to find out what Corbis is doing. Anyway, the Prestons come up against Corbis' congregation of damned souls, black-hooded zombies with eyes gone solid black. These zombies dissolve in water, leaving behind only a puddle of wax -- somehow when their bodies are deprived of their souls, they exchange material with the wax dolls that are used in the ceremonies."

Flash forward and Bill Shatner is still being zombified.


At last!


The rest of the movie has all sorts of Satanic rituals.


And all kinds of strangeness, which highlights some of the film's strengths, namely decent cinematography, solid production design and some very interesting shot compositions:


Bill Shatner re-appears as a mask.


And then everybody melts in a very, very long ending, which can be viewed in full here.


Let's move swiftly to the to the hair...

As with The Andersonville Trial, Bill Shatner's toup is introduced first, before we see the actor's face.


The hair (of the "Lost Years" variety) is actually fairly decent - 1975 was a year when the toups Bill Shatner wore significantly increased in quality (see here for more on that) in comparison to the previous few years. Perhaps the prospect of Star Trek's return led Bill Shatner to start attending to his appearance more closely.


Early on in the movie, Bill Shatner removes his hat, lets the toup flail in the breeze, and then puts the hat back on again.

A little later, the toup gets slightly ruffled:


We don't know if such moments were contractually stipulated. Did Bill Shatner have a legally binding agreement with the toup that it must be given at least a couple of decent moments in each project?

Anyway, The Devil's Rain decidedly fails in the fright or horror departments - you're far more likely to guffaw your way through the bits that are supposed to be scary. However, the movie's sheer kitsch-ness has turned it into something of a camp, cult classic. Taken with a heavy pinch of salt (there really is no other way), it makes for a relatively entertaining and baffling viewing experience.

The Devil's Rain is available on DVD - and, at present, is also up on YouTube in its entirety. A very, very odd movie.

Alfred Hitchcock Presents:"The Glass Eye" - a toupological analysis.

"The Glass Eye" is a 1957 episode of the famous Alfred Hitchcock Presents series that originally ran for ten seasons from 1955-65. The episode stars the legendary Jessica Tandy, with Bill Shatner serving as both co-star and narrator.


Jim Whitely (Shatner) and his wife Dorothy are cleaning out the apartment of the former's deceased sister Julia (Tandy). Julia lived a very lonely life, with one exception - a story that Whitely is reminded of as he rummages through her belongings and locates a glass eye.


Whitely proceeds to tell his wife how Julia fell for a famous ventriloquist called Max Collodi:


Enchanted by his performances, Julia decides to follow Collodi as he tours England.


She writes him letter after letter...


...until she finally receives a response.


A brief initial five-minute meeting is granted. Julia sets out to visit the reclusive artist.


Collodi, remaining partly in the shadows like some Blofeldian figure, expresses his gratitude for Julia's efforts - he too has lived a very lonely life.


Julia then casts abandon to the wind and spills out her joy at these two, apparently kindred souls, finding each other.


But wait...


That's where we'll leave it as we don't want to spoil the twist ending for you!

This really is a great little piece of drama - and snappy too, running at just a little over 25 mins. A simple punchy story coupled with strong performances, dynamic shot compositions, great lighting and the overall rich dramatic earnestness of a now bygone golden era of movies and television.


Bill Shatner's performance (one of two he did on this show) couldn't be more understated in this installment.


The actor's style of diction as narrator is so restrained and un-caricature-Shatner-like as to be hypnotic. Whether it's affected "leading-man" speak, an attempt at a British accent or whatever, it's certainly noteworthy and very interesting to listen to.


Let's move to the hair...


This is one of the last toup-less screen performances by Bill Shatner (another is here) - 1957 was a crucial year toupologically, a brief nexus of visible thinning and continued touplessness.


Bill Shatner's hair is already thinning, particularly at the back, but it is still thick enough to provide an illusion of relative plenty with some clever combing, spraying and other movie-magic techniques.


Nonetheless, evidence of fluffiness is particularly visible at the back and despite all efforts, there is a noticeable lack of volume to the hair.


The frontal hairline is still entirely in place, but the longer hair combed back underscores attempts to bulk up.


There's an interesting line of dialogue spoken by Bill Shatner in "The Glass Eye". As the actor holds the artificial eye - which forms the center of the story - in his hands, his character says:

"If ever a life was symbolized by any one single object, Julia's was."

Perhaps Bill Shatner already knew that he would soon be turning to the toupee. As the actor studies the glass eye, also an appliance that provides an illusion, the sheer import of how future toupee use might change his life was perhaps beginning to dawn on the actor.


"The Glass Eye" is available on the season 3 box-set of Alfred Hitchcock Presents; presently, it's also up on YouTube. A wonderful little piece of old-fashioned drama - well worth watching.

Thick, thick, thick...

The website Aveleyman.com (see here) has a very useful (to toupologists) same-sized gallery of Shatner pics throughout the ages, with numerous entries for the 60s Star Trek series. It's there that we dug up the above photo of Bill Shatner in a 1975 episode of the TV cop show The Rookies, episode title "The Hunting Ground". This thick, thick, thick toup can only be described as being of the chocolate sauce variety - as if somebody poured chocolate sauce or treacle on top of a bald head in the hope of making something resembling a realistic head of hair.

In fact, the hair in the above image is so bad, and since we don't engage in mockery at Shatner's Toupee, we feel that we have to balance it's presentation here with something entirely positive about Shats:

Bill Shatner's skills as a voice-over orator are often overlooked in favor of analysis of his often staccato ac-TING s...TYLE. But great Star Trek captains seem to need distinctive voices that convey the often tortuous life of the lonely starship captain. And we think that Bill Shatner certainly had an ability to deliver a moving voice-over. Just listen to the opening captain's log in Star Trek III: The Search for Spock - "The Enterprise feels like a house with all the children gone..." So, hats of to Shats for his v/o skills!