"I don't wear a hairpiece!" - the full MJ Kelli clip!

A while back, we brought you a small clip of a 1994 radio interview in which, live on-air, Tampa Bay area DJs "MJ Kelli" (real name Todd Schnitt) and "BJ Harris" told Bill Shatner point-blank that they liked his hairpiece. A newspaper report describing the incident can be read here.

"MJ Kelli"

We weren't sure if we would ever be able to track down the entire (toupologically highly important) exchange - but now we have and present it to you below:

Bill Shatner is evidently deeply shocked at the brazen shift from "performance banter" to such a deeply personal, in his mind, "attack". Does he tell a small fib by denying his toupee-wearing? Of course he does...

Our sincere thanks to "DJ Reach" for sending us the clip! Check out his Bill Shatner "Chop Shop" megamix (which includes clips from the above exchange) here and visit his MySpace page here.

Bill Shatner's amazing Houdini toupee trick.

Another great find from "RM" - a 2004 interview with Bill Shatner in which the subject of a rather hastily-drawn self-portrait (and the hair) comes up. We're still trying to figure out what exactly Bill Shatner was doing with this picture, but the interview conducted by David Keeps for Blender.com begins with a mention of the sketch and an apparent comment by talkshow host Jay Leno:


Keeps: Jay Leno just walked by and said that your self-portrait “looks like someone with bad hair implants, singing into a potato.”

Shatner: What is he talking about? I’m a rock & roll singer on my knees, can’t he tell? And that’s a microphone.

Again, another very skillful sleight-of-hand non-denial denial from Bill Shatner (see here for another classic example of this). This, despite the fact that a representation of someone could be so poorly drawn as to make them look like they had bad hair implants in the picture even though in real life they did not. Thus, Bill Shatner could simply have said "Yes, it does!" without confirming anything. Yet, somewhat tellingly, Bill Shatner instead embarks on a strategy of cleverly avoiding the hair issue completely.

Incidentally, the fact that Shats could inadvertently draw a picture that highlighted his hair transplant is a little mind-bending (Sigmund Freud would have a field day).

More properly, what Bill Shatner actually employs in his response to Keeps is the magicians' trick of misdirection. Imagine a magician pointing to what's in his or her left hand - a coin perhaps - you focus on that hand and don't notice the magician then putting their right hand in their pocket for a mere split second to get rid of the coin. This is a very common trick in magic.

Keeps noted "Jay Leno just walked by and said that your self-portrait 'looks like someone with bad hair implants, singing into a potato.'"

Let's look at Bill Shatner's response closely.

"What is he talking about?" This is an archetypal non-denial denial, the act of appearing to deny but not actually denying (the issue of hair transplants or baldness in general) or even addressing anything. Now, for the next part of the reaction:

"I’m a rock & roll singer on my knees, can’t he tell?"

This sentence is the first part of the misdirection trick. Bill Shatner is very cleverly shifting focus away from specifics (hair) and misdirecting (through being selective over what he chooses to respond to) the attention of the interviewer towards the general - in this case the overall image, despite the fact that this wasn't really what he was asked about. You could or could not be a rock & roll singer and still look like you had bad hair implants. Thus, Bill Shatner's answer avoids the question by misdirecting away from it. And now the final crucial part:

"And that’s a microphone." [emphasis ours]

The final sentence underscores the genius of misdirection. Bill Shatner was asked (meaning this was the dominant point of Keeps' comment to which Bill Shatner could react) about this (the hair):


But through misdirection (selectively focusing on the potato/microphone analogy rather than the hair-transplant part), Bill Shatner has shifted attention to this (the microphone):


Harry Houdini would be proud!

Toupee wordplay: a Shat-no-Meter ruling.

Bill Shatner, much like the lawyer that he portrayed in Boston Legal, is a master of wordplay. This has been strikingly evident on those very rare occasions when he has been asked publicly about the toup. Previously, we've brought you a toupee denial during a 2008 interview conducted by the British newspaper The Daily Telegraph in which Bill Shatner volunteered: "And no, it isn't a toupée," reportedly underscoring this by tugging at his hair. Of course, the wording was very clever. "It" wasn't a toupee. "It" was a transplant (or a new kind of hair system - the jury's still out).


There was also the January 2006 story on Shats from The Times of London entitled "Man of Enterprise". The article noted, "Once asked whether he wore a hairpiece, [Shatner] replied: 'It’s a question that I find like asking somebody, "Did you have a breast implant?" or "When did you get your lobotomy?" ' "

Again, a cleverly worded non denial denial. However, in the notorious MJ Kelli incident, Bill Shatner did actually deny that he wore a toupee, adding that the question was "stupid".

Now, thanks to a discovery by amateur toupologist "RM" we can present another example of Bill Shatner toupee wordplay. In a 1991 interview (sourced here - not sure which magazine it's from), reporter Martin Kihn asks the actor to comment on a campaign that was underway at the time by the "Bald Urban Liberation Brigade" to "out" bald actors. Basically, BULB, a group founded by trade-magazine writer Ed Leibowitz and graphic designer Lorraine Heffernan made computer-generated images of allegedly bald celebrities including Bill Shatner and hung these images as posters around New York. You can read more on this here, here and see an old newspaper report here.


The exchange with Kihn went thus:

Kihn: Are you aware that there are posters all over New York with your photograph that claim you are really bald?

Shatner: Well, I thumb my hairy nose at them. But I'll still go look in the mirror and make sure everything's there.

As "RM" pointed out, the response is classic Shatner and it also serves as a textbook example of the non denial denial. In the statement, Bill Shatner does not deny that he is bald per se. He may "thumb his hairy nose" at BULB, but that doesn't mean that he is actually refuting their allegations.

The next sentence is far more daring, with Shats demonstrating the skills of a well-trained magician or politician: "But I'll still go look in the mirror and make sure everything's there". What does that mean? The implication is that because "everything" (the hair) is "there" (on my scalp), it means that Bill Shatner isn't bald. That is technically true if you think about it, but wonderfully warped too. What Bill Shatner is basically saying is "The last time I looked, there was hair on my head. But to humor you, I'll go and check to see if it hasn't somehow disappeared, which of course it hasn't." Again, in absolute literal terms, a toupee qualifies as hair. Denny Crane would be proud.


This all rings slightly of former President Bill Clinton's "It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is" or Donald Rumsfeld's known knowns and unknown unknowns. Bill Shatner's statements are true in the strictly literal sense. However, the questioner asked a pretty direct question about whether the actor was actually bald (offering Shats the opportunity to refute or confirm the baldness allegations). Bill Shatner technically didn't deny the allegations of BULB, but the inference was that the suggestion was so ridiculous that it could only have happened since the last time he looked in the mirror.

"Kiiiihn!"

Our inclination would be to give the above a "False". However, because we must factor-in the strictly literal and balance this against what we believe was implied, we have no choice but to rate Bill Shatner's above statements as Half-True.


Click here to see all of our Shat-no-Meter rulings.

Note: We're still trying to track down the BULB poster of Bill Shatner.

"Shatner's toupee abducted by aliens!"

The Weekly World News is a tabloid famous for its sensational headlines about UFO abductions, Elvis sightings and all the rest of it. But back on 7th February 1995, they did a story (based on a report by the British Sun newspaper) on William Shatner that was - shock! - entirely accurate. The above article relates to an incident in which radio DJ "MJ Kelli" asked Shatner about his toupee, which infuriated the actor, prompting him to say "I don't wear a hairpiece." See here for more on the incident - we ruled on Shats' denial in that case with out Shat-no-meter here.

Shatner's toupee lobotomy analogy.

There have only been a few instances where Bill Shatner has faced direct (non-comedic) point-blank questions about whether or not he wears a toupee. Thus far, we've had the MJ Kelli incident (we ruled on Shats' denial in that case with out Shat-no-meter here). There was also a clear toupee denial during a 2008 interview conducted by the British newspaper The Telegraph.

Well, it seems that the British press has been at it again. We've located a January 2006 story on Shats from The Times of London entitled "Man of Enterprise". The article contains the following nugget:

"Once asked whether he wore a hairpiece, [Shatner] replied: 'It’s a question that I find like asking somebody, "Did you have a breast implant?" or "When did you get your lobotomy?" ' "

This is a quote that has since been picked up by a variety of websites including Wikipedia and imdb.com. Sadly, not one, and that includes the Times story, has provided us with an original source. But since we very much doubt that the respectable Times is in the habit of making up quotes, we will accept that Bill Shatner did indeed say this - when and to whom, however, remains a mystery.

The quote is interesting in that Shats essentially compares apples and oranges with his second lobotomy analogy. Lobotomies were a particularly severe "treatment" for psychiatric disorders which left lasting results in patients. The entry in Wikipedia notes that "lobotomies fell out of common use and the procedure has since been characterized 'as one of the most barbaric mistakes ever perpetrated by mainstream medicine.' "

Meanwhile, breast implants, provided that they are cosmetic and not necessitated by, for example, a cancer-related mastectomy, are in quite a different league.

But in fairness to Shats, we understand that he is essentially trying to convey that in his mind, the toupee question is a deeply personal one; a private clinical matter in which a toupee might serve to correct what he sees as a natural defect, in this case baldness. Or perhaps, the inference is that the questioner should feel as uncomfortable asking Shats about his hair as they might feel asking a lobotomy patient about their operation.

Yet many celebrities, including Star Trek co-star Walter Koenig, aren't quite as sensitive about the matter. Below is Koenig talking to interviewer Justin Lee Collins in the May 2009 show Bring Back Star Trek. The actor not only pokes fun at his own hairpiece, both now and then, but relates that the hairpiece is something that both he and Shatner had in common in the 1960s series:

Ironically, Bill Shatner mentions his co-star's on-screen (not off-screen) toupee in his 1993 book Star Trek Memories:

"...one look at Chekov's first couple of episodes, and the rather bushy toupee he was forced to wear, will illustrate the Monkee mimicry beyond a shadow of a doubt." (page 225)

Anyway, since the Times quote was published, Shats has faced all kinds of in-your-face jokes about his toupee. He has even rhetorically asked "Do I wear a toupee?" in his autobiography Up Till Now. So, perhaps he doesn't see the issue quite as rigidly as he did only a few years ago - it really isn't like asking whether you have had a lobotomy, Bill, because in that case, you probably wouldn't have been able to give us a proper answer!

Shatner: "How's the hair?"

"How's the hair?"

George Takei's "outing" of William Shatner's toupee wearing wasn't the only reference made to Shatner's hair during 2006's Comedy Central Roast of William Shatner.

The subject came up during several segments, including when comedian Jeffrey Ross said to Shatner: "I was told not to bring this up; I know that it's a sensitive subject, but I can't help myself. On behalf of your fans all over the world, we want to know: what the f*#k is on your head right now? It just growled at me. Have mercy, Shatner - hang up the hairpiece! Or at least set it free in the park before [comedian] Andy Dick tries to f*@k it."

Bill Shatner confronted with hair jokes.

In a pre-recorded segment, actor Clint Howard reprised his role as Balok from the Star Trek episode "The Corbomite Maneuver" and jokingly told Shatner:

"I'm not ashamed of this [points to bald head]. At least I don't try to cover it up with a Wookie snatch."

And in the final segment, Shatner briefly acknowledged the jokes directed at his hair, asking "How's the hair? Is it...? Hair's good? Hair's good?" Of course, this could really be interpreted in an number of ways. Perhaps Shatner was merely saying, "Yes, my real hair has often looked so bad, that it looks like a toupee." You can tell us what you think Shatner thinks we think by voting in our poll!

Shatner admits to hair loss (in an oblique way)!

We've previously looked at some rare and oblique references by Shats to his lack of (real) hair. Thus far, these have consisted of two passages from his autobiography Up Till Now - one in which Shats talked about not wanting his "makeup secrets" to be revealed and the other, the very final line of his book, where Shats asks rhetorically "Do I wear a toupee?" Click through the above link for more on these.


But we have managed to find a fresh one - and one that kind of blows these two previous oblique references out of the water. Seriously, this is quite a big one as far as our chronicles go! In 2005, William Shatner was a surprise performer at a glamorous bash entitled AFI Life Achievement Award: A Tribute to George Lucas - the title is pretty self-explanatory. During his comedic skit, Shatner contrasted Lucas' still thick hair with his own, shall we say, hair dilemma:

"I envy you. I really envy you. The hair. I just envy the hair. Is it a dominant gene?" Shatner told Lucas from the stage.

Below is a video of this brief, but earth-shattering moment.

Interestingly, this took place a year before Star Trek castmate George Takei's somewhat spiteful "outing" of Shatner's toupee usage during the 2006 Comedy Central Roast of William Shatner. We had always assumed that this was what prompted Shats to ease up a little on his toupee denials in his autobiography. Not so. So credit where credit is due: hats off to Shatner for this moment of undeniable candor in 2005.

And, just to place the moment in context, below is a video of the entire segment, which is very, very funny. We honestly think that this clip alone demonstrates in a nutshell just why William Shatner should be treasured as a true living legend! Who else could crash the apparent pomposity of Lucas in such an entertaining way?

"Most Jerk" asks Shatner the question...

Some time back in 1994 (source here), Tampa Bay area DJs "MJ Kelli" (real name Todd Schnitt) and "BJ Harris" (not Michigan-based radio hosts "Drew & Mike" as we previously and mistakenly wrote) conducted an interview with William Shatner that ended up making the guest very angry. They asked him point-blank if he wore a toupee and were possibly the first people to ever do so in a public forum.

Now, Bill Shatner had three not-so-secret secrets about how he physically portrayed the dashing captain of the Starship Enterprise during the 1960s. The first was that he wore lifts. That secret vanished when it was integrated into the plotline of the 1976 Columbo episode "Fade in to Murder". The murderer was shorter than Ward Fowler (Shatner), but then we learnt that the character (and thus Shatner) wore lifts to increase his advertised height. The second secret was that when he became a little chubby early to mid-second season of Star Trek and again early third season, Shats wore something akin to a corset to squash him back into shape. These two things combined gave the man a somewhat odd sway-backed appearance - the lifts threw off his posture and the corset made his chest protrude out as if he were holding in his breath. The third secret was the toupee...

"Columbo: Fade in to Murder" (1976)

Now, whether Bill Shatner believed that no-one knew or suspected is debatable. Nonetheless, it was not something that was really discussed openly. Then came 1996's book Inside Star Trek: The Real Story in which producer Bob Justman and James Doohan openly talked about the toupee issue. It was also mentioned in 1994's Star Trek Creator: The Authorized Biography of Gene Roddenberry by David Alexander, in which a memo by Bob Justman discussing Shatner's toup was reprinted. Both of these books addressed what some felt were general non-toup related inconsistencies in some recollections contained within Shatner's own Star Trek Memories published in 1993. Anyway, Bill Shatner would have understood that his toup wearing was now officially confirmed by Trek insiders.

By the time that George Takei confronted Shatner about his toupee in 2006's Comedy Central Roast of William Shatner all Shats could do is smile, while his former co-star made fun of his hair in front of everyone. By 2008, Shatner addressed the issue obliquely in his autobiography Up Till Now asking "Do I wear a toupee?". It still wasn't an admission, but it was at least a self-deprecating (that is what Shats does best) question.

"Tak-ei" as in "toup-ee" George Takei told Shatner only half-jokingly.

But back when "MJ Kelli" asked the question, the issue was still relatively taboo. Thus, the response by Shatner was one of anger and denial. We only have a small sound clip of the reaction for you via a "Drew & Mike" fan site (the original is here stupidquestion.wav or listen below) but you will get the idea. "That is a stupid question by a rather stupid person," says a clearly irritated Shats.

We'll do our best to try to get hold of the entire exchange for you and thanks to a reader for finding this audio clip.

UPDATE: A poster at Trekmovie.com (user "Snake" post number 103. see here) has what he/she claims is a rough transcript of said conversation. We reprint below, but caution that this is entirely unverified at present:

MJ – So, Bill…

BS – Yep...

MJ – I have to ask…the hairpiece…it is the best I’ve ever seen…

BS – ...well..uh..I don’t wear a hairpiece…

MJ – No?

BS – No…

MJ – That's funny 'cause I was under the impression that you did…

BS – You know what?…That is a very stupid question from a very stupid person..

MJ – Oh, now i’ve gone and made you mad…

BS – No, no, no, no..not at all..

MJ – Yeah, I have..

BS – No, no. MJ...MJ? I mean what does that stand for anyway? Most Jerk?

MJ – Oh yeah, I’ve made you mad at me…

BS – No, no...you're just a stupid man and other people like your listeners will come to understand that in time…*hangs up*

This account appears to be corroborated by a purported St. Petersburg Times report on the affair re-printed here, which says:

Power Pig duo to appear on TV Series
December 30, 1994 - St. Petersburg Times

Tampa Bay area disc jockeys MJ Kelli and BJ Harris will get their 15 minutes of fame tonight on, of all places, A Current Affair. Seems the pair got into a tiff with Star Trek hero himself William Shatner a few weeks ago during an on-air interview on their morning program, The MJ and BJ Show (WFLZ-FM 93.3, the Power Pig). At the end of the otherwise civil interview, Kelli said, he asked Shatner a question about his hairpiece.

"I said it was the best hairpiece I'd ever seen," Kelli said.

The actor fumed, insisting he does not wear a hairpiece.

"He called me a dope, a jerk," Kelli said. "He asked me if MJ stood for the Most Jerk."

The blowup, coming at the heels of Burt Reynolds publicized feud with a San Francisco newspaper reporter, made several tabloid newspapers before catching the eyes of A Current Affair producers. They sent a film crew to the Tampa station Thursday. A spokeswoman from the program, which airs locally on WFTS-Ch. 28 at 7:30 p.m., confirmed the segment would be on today, unless bumped by a breaking news.

William Shatner's technically correct toupee denial: a ruling from the Shat-no-meter.

In a May 2008 interview with the British newspaper The Daily Telegraph, William Shatner voluntarily denied that he was wearing a toupee. But to get to that point, we begin with the corset (the other rumor!) :

"Actually, I wasn't wearing a corset,' he corrects. 'I had fallen off a horse and broken some ribs. I had to be strapped up and some kind soul told the tabloids I'd got so beefy that I needed a corset to get into Kirk's costume.' Shatner smiles broadly, his earlier introspective mood erased. 'And no, it isn't a toupée,' he says, tugging his hair."


Now, according to the Shat-no-Meter, Bill is being a little clever in his wording here. The fact that he does not have a full head of his own hair is beyond doubt. We also suspect that he has had a hair transplant in recent years (or some other form of drastic change from his previous Trek movie-era hair - the jury's still out. UPDATE: See here for our latest findings suggesting it's still a toup) - from curly long to shorter hair more naturally attached to the scalp.

A visible scalp.

That being the case, the hair that Bill was tugging on during the interview was indeed likely not a toupee per se - as a toupee is technically a hairpiece or partial wig and that is something that Shatner no longer needs to wear. Is a hair system a hairpiece?

But the wording is revealing: "And no, it isn't a toupée."

The use of the word "it" is calculated and avoids having to commit to a broader claim, such as "I have never worn a toupee." Shatner is merely pointing out that what is on his head at that moment is not a toupee ("it's a hair system" perhaps?) and in that sense he is correct - but he very carefully does not deny that he has ever worn one in the past, and in that kind of wordplay, he is being a little disingenuous. Nonetheless, we rate his statement to be "Mostly True".


UPDATE: See here for our latest findings suggesting it's still a toup, which would shift this ruling into the "barely true" category - the argument, from Bill Shatner's theoretical perspective, being that a "hair system" doesn't necessarily qualify as a toupee.