"We don't wear wigs in Canada!"

We've occasionally spoken in jest about the idea of some kind of trial in which Bill Shatner would have to argue before a judge (and spellbound world) that his hair was indeed real. It is of course unlikely that such a trial will ever take place, but what we can report is the existence of footage of Bill Shatner in front of a judge being told "...we don't wear wigs in Canada."

The footage in question comes from a second season episode of the TV show Boston Legal called "Finding Nimmo." And not only does it contain this remarkable line, but it also has Bill Shatner in a very elegant 18th century-style wig!

A "TJ Curly Retro Deluxe Edition"?

So what's going on here? Basically, Denny Crane (Bill Shatner) and fellow lawyer Alan Shore (James Spader) find themselves on fishing a vacation in Canada. There, they discover a case that surrounds the damage to wild salmon caused by sea lice, a side-effect of man-made fisheries. The pair then learns that a court case on the matter is pending and decide to storm the event (a more detailed plot description is here). Mistakenly, they believe that Canadian court attire requires wigs in the same way the British system does.

What's truly priceless here (other than seeing Bill Shatner wearing a wig on top of a toup) is Denny Crane's reaction to the "we don't wear wigs in Canada" line. Bill Shatner's head slumps almost as if trying to look as innocent as possible (it's rather similar to this real-life incident).


Is Bill Shatner being inadvertently bashful and sheepish? Or is he actually having very deliberate fun with the line - a nod and a wink to us about his own toupee use. Another look at that specific moment:

We can't help but feel that Bill Shatner's reaction is playing with the moment just a little.


Thankfully, "we don't wear wigs in Canada" only applies to the courtroom, otherwise we'd have a rather unique reason for the Canadian-born Bill Shatner's long-term residence in the United States - namely that he's been exiled from a nation which oppressively bans toupee-wearing!


Meanwhile, another episode entitled "Witches of Mass Destruction" features Bill Shatner with an artificial furry substance on top his head - on top of his toupee, naturally. It's a scalp, then toup, then air, then neck, then head, then fur combo. Toupology can get very confusing sometimes...

A Denny for your thoughts...

Of all the extremely important debates that we've had about Bill Shatner's hair, perhaps the one that has elicited the greatest amount of discussions and opinions is: what exactly is Bill Shatner's current "Denny Crane" look? Is it plugs or is it another piece?

"Bill, are you trying to copy my hair?"

But setting aside this debate somewhat, our toupologists have been studying a notable phenomenon at the back of Bill Shatner's head that leads us to some other crucial and equally important questions. The actor's current "Denny Crane" look is usually quite uniform (though it can get a little patchy). But there is an area at the back of the head that stands out in stark contrast to this. At the back, the hair is often longer and a little more unruly.


In observing various images of Bill Shatner's current hair look (from 2000 onwards), this phenomenon is something we've seen again and again...


...uniformity versus a greater degree of freedom.


On numerous occasions, this mysterious area appears to be the only one showing a strong streak of rebellion and independence. Is this Bill Shatner's way of saying that although he is getting older and is settling down a little, that he is still a rebel at heart?


The below image is an example of the slight patchiness we referred to - likely the result of a long day coupled with an aging piece in need of replacement, though some might argue that this is actually indicative of a hair transplant.


But setting aside that debate (just a little)...


...the image also provides yet another example of the mysterious unruly patch of hair at the back.


And above too. So what is it? Is this an area of real hair? We believe it may well be. If so, is it used to harvest hair (seems quite small for that task) for the rest of the head if Bill Shatner has plugs? Or if Bill Shatner wears a piece (we're increasingly inclined to believe he does, though we think he may have tried plugs at some point) then is the area at the back the only place where the piece does not reach?


What about the sides? Why is the hair so uniform there almost right down to the sideburns? If it is a piece - a custom made glue-on membrane covered in hair that lasts for several weeks before being thrown away - then has it been designed to end just by the sideburns at the sides and a little higher at the back, allowing a small patch of real hair to remain?


So many questions (see here for an earlier brief analysis of this sparse patch). Our toupologists clearly still have much work to do...

Bill Shatner in deep thought, possibly about toupees.

UPDATE: A video posted at Bill Shatner's YouTube page shows this very area of hair (and only this area of hair) being combed - what is Shats trying to tell us?