Our most recent poll gauged your views on what Bill Shatner thinks the lay public knows or suspects about his toupee-wearing. 44%, the largest share, believed that Bill Shatner still thinks he can persuade people that his hair is real. 18% thought that Bill Shatner thinks that the general public knows everything; 12% thought that he thinks most people don't believe he wears a toupee; 13% thought that Bill Shatner thinks that maybe the public only suspects he started wearing a toupee in the late 1970s or early 1980s and only 11% of you thought that Bill Shatner thinks that the public has heard some rumors, but aren't fully convinced.
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"The Shroud of Toupin" - some believe this cloth once wrapped one of William Shatner's toupees. However, the WSSTS has been unable to verify this claim.
On a different note, you may be surprised to learn that our "Department of Internal Toupological Satire" has no permanent staff. Rather, it serves as an outlet for staff in all of our other 736 departments at the WSSTS.
Here's how it works: Occasionally, one of our hard-working toupologists understandably feels the need to have a break and let off a little steam. Sometimes this is done by creating some toupological satire (well-meaning, not cruel, of course), which our toupologists may then choose to send to the aforementioned department. Once a month, a panel of five randomly-selected department heads chair a meeting of the "DITS" to go through these submissions. One such submission they received last month particularly stood out. It is a photograph that has been doctored (via the addition of a sign) with our proprietary program Touposhop:
Amidst a background of high tension, a celebrity will, very rarely, have a moment of madness. Who can forget actor Hugh Grant's moment of infamy?:
Imagine Bill Shatner driving home late one night. Suddenly, he spots a toupee factory out of his car window. He sees red; reason and rational behavior go out of the window. He breaks into the factory and, filled with reckless glee, rolls around in a huge heap of toupees, trying on one after another. But the police, receiving reports of a disturbance in the area, are soon on the scene. The resulting media storm is the biggest since, well, the last huge celebrity scandal...
All utterly ridiculous and entirely made up, of course!
Sourced via this 2006 Esquire interview, recently uploaded at More Shat, Less Shame.